Global Oven

There are reports that Global Warming may be having a negative effect on California's wine industry...leaving many to wonder how long it'll take the Red Hot Chili Peppers to use it as an excuse to write another song about California.

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Firepants

A man's cell phone ignited in his pocket, starting a fire which burned down his entire hotel room. The man said he would have called the fire department as soon as it happened, but he wanted to wait til after 9pm when it didnt count against his minutes.

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Predator 3

MySpace is working on a tool to block sex offenders from its popular social networking site. They said that they would have come up with something sooner but nobody wants to lose three-quarters of their business.

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Space For Rent, Ohio

Officials in Ohio are considering a Spaceport deal which would make the state a hub for privatized space exploration, reasoning, "Nowhere is the desire to leave this planet greater than in Ohio."

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Nicole Kidman

Nicole Kidman is currently America's highest paid actress...providing hope everywhere for women who were dumped by scientologists and are now married to drunks.

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1 in 32 Ain't Bad

Apparently 1 in 32 adults in the U.S. is incarcerated...
The rest just have shitty jobs.

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